PEEN POST PART 1 !!! 5 Different Types of PEEN!!!

Last night I went to my favorite (and THEE BEST) happy hour spot, Laughing Man. My girls and I were discussing the lack of peen we have in our lives and why. We all discovered the main reason we were forced into decided to be celibate. WACK  UNSATISFACTORY PEEN.

This post will have 2 parts. The first part is, as titled, describing the different types/sizes of peen.

I'm not going to lie. True2me has seen her fair share of peen. The funny thing is, I didn't even have sex with all this peen. Most men volunteer their peen up for approval and review. Its really easy to find out what kinda peen you are working with, but thats part two of the peen post.

I wish I could post picks of the peen, I'll use some other graphics in place (keep in mind these are estimates, some peens are short and wide, some long and skinny, this is just a general idea of what peen a man is working with).

Let's get started

1. Baby Peen - When you see this peen you ask "Is it hard" (true story). It truly resembles your pinky finger. There is no width nor length to it AT ALL. The good part about this type of peen is that they WILL EAT THE COOTER. They will take their time to get you all aroused and what not. Shyt, these bammas will probably wine and dine the hell out of you first. They have to get you to like them some kinda way. The baby peen man is quick to settle down. Quick to get you all up into them so they can have someone accepting them for their lil peen. The bad part, when you have sex with them, you can't feel it. PERIOD. *sigh*. You'd have more fun with your tampon.

2. Smedium (small/medium) peen - The smedium peen is not too far from the baby peen. The difference is you can CLEARLY tell that a smedium peen is in fact a peen. Smedium peen men tend to be women labelers. They feel bad about not being endowed so they find ways to make woman feel more inferior. I know you are wondering why baby peen doesn't do this. Well its cause baby peen is so small they can't afford to have women turn them down in any way. Smedium peen feel like they have some leverage cause they got a little more peen that baby peen. The good part about smedium peen is that he too likes to give head, bad part, he'll slip out of you too much *sigh*

3. Average Peen - For some women, average peen is the best type of peen to have. You can take it, you can feel it, see it, and you can save that man some embarassment by not busting out laughing when he pulls it out. The average peen man tends to be in limbo with dating. He is like the baby peen in the sense that he's really nice and considerate to women. But he does that because sex for him is awesome. He is big enough to please you, but not too big to send you running. The pros of the average peen, he has a great sex life and will have no problem doing whatever in the bedroom. The cons, he's most likely a player and won't stick around long (sorry ladies)

4. Above Average Peen - for the ladies that may have had a kid or two or just like a little more challenge in the bedroom, the above average peen is PERFECT. Its a perfect width and lenth. You will feel the shyt out of this peen in your cooter. With this peen, you won't need much other stimulation because the peen itself will do most of the work. Sometimes the Above Average peen man doesn't realize that he is packing more than most. For some inexperienced women, they will think this is the biggest peen they ever seen (damn I should be a rapper..). He has the best peen to ride because he will never slip out. If you're an internal orgasm girl and want to keep your uterus, this is the best peen to have. The con, if they know what they are working with, they are less likely to give head *frowns*

5. Humungous Hungus Peenasauras (aka HUGE PEEN) - This is the pron star peen. This peen is so big you can't believe its real. When he pulls it out, you wonder if you are on the set of snakes on a plane. This is the peen you dream about in your fantasy, but never expected it to be in your face. Its so pretty and thick you are tempted to suck him off right there, but you rethink it cuz I'm telling you, Huge peen man DOES NOT GIVE HEAD (okay...I take that back, they will if they are really REALLY into you, but most don't ) But bump that, who needs head when he can tap all the nerves in your cooter and send you climbing up the wall to high heaven (if you can take it). Ladies, your first time with huge peen WILL HURT, especially if you are used to smedium peen or average peen. If you are not a head giving pro, do not attempt to place the huge peen in your mouth, no man wants scrapes and scratches and what not on their peen. TEETH HURT. Their downfall tho is pulling out their peen and scaring the life out of a woman to the point where she won't want to do it. They are usually really cocky and don't chase women, mostly because they know what they are working with. They won't be needy, they may not even call you after they bone  you (hey i'm just saying). But its worth the one night stand with these fellas. Its a rite of passage for women. But take this one slow ladies

*watches all the men run to pull their pants down and compare their peen to the pics*

LMFAO..Have fun with this post..