Why I think New Year’s Resolutions are STUPID

It’s that time again. Folk all talking about what they GONE DO, why they GONE DO IT and how much better they are GONE BE. It’s the anniversary of ME ME ME. Look at me, Listen to me, Focus on me. Its like people just make them just to be making them. It gets tiring, monotonous and actually quite annoying. Not only are making resolutions an azz backwards way of making changes, but they are precursors to FAILURE. Here is why I think New Year’s resolutions are STUPID.




1. You should be making changes all year long, why the heck are you waiting till the end of the year or the start of a new year. If your life was jacked up before 12/31, its going to be jacked up going into the new year.



2. Making resolutions shows that you are just a professional excuse maker. Again, why didn’t you do that mess before. If you made excuses last year, you will make them after the huge jaw breaker drops in cold azz times square. Excuses are your friend…you probably aren’t quite ready to let go yet.



3. If you didn’t make changes before the new year, what makes you think you will follow through after a few drunken toasts. EXACTLY…NOTHING. Oh wait I get it, something magically happens when the digits change at the end of the year…BOOOOO



4. When you don’t make those changes, you look DUMB. What happened to that excess weight you were supposed to lose? What happened to all that money you were going to make? What happened to breaking up with that loser. NOTHING HAS CHANGED…and now you look dumb for running your mouth about what YOU GON DO when you weren’t ready to do it in the first place.



5. Stuff doesn’t happen overnight. Regardless of all the changes you are GOING TO MAKE, its not going to occur after the bell strikes midnight, so chill on all that rah rah Imma do this and that. If you do change spit, you probably won’t change it until May or October any darn way.





So ladies and gentlemen, if there are truly some changes you need to make in your life, and you haven’t started them already, the new year won’t make you start them. You were lazy before, and you will be lazy after the clock hits 12:00. You were a pumkin before and you will continue to be that afterwards.



If you are going to make some changes in your life, set realistic goals. Write them down on a piece of paper and make a real plan. Network with the right people, get with the right planner SOMETHING. Simply announcing them to everyone all the effing time is just a waste of breath.



HAPPY NEW YEAR



Sincerely- TRUE

True2me’s re-cap of this year. ....THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS (I kid lol)

I am not going to do this in any particular order so….don’t criticize me dammit. This order will be based on what I can remember about this wack butt year and it’s stupid “newsworthy” stories. I felt compelled to talk about it because I am limited in my topics as of late and this seems to be the most interesting at this time.



1. TIGER EFFING WOODS – following Tiger’s “accident” everything went downhill for the Golf great. How I feel about it. WHO CARES!! Every man cheats, okay MOST FAMOUS MEN CHEAT! Big EFFING DEAL!!!! Stop acting like ya’ll didn’t know that.



2. Rihanna and Chris Brown – Um…first off..this was last year’s spit wasn’t it…oh well if I’m wrong. I’m not a reporter anyhow. Secondly, umm…dumb teenagers do dumb shyt. GET OVER IT ALREADY!!!



3. On a sad note – Michael Jackson Died. RIP to the greatest entertainer that ever lived. YES EVER LIVED!!!! Also RIP to all the Michael Jackson jokes…but…Thanks to Jermaine Jackson for taking all the jokes now. NEW TARGETS ARE ALWAYS FUN!!!!



4. Criticizing President Obama – Yall wanted a Black President..you got one, now STFU. For those of you who DIDN’T want a Black President..deal with it. Ya’ll probably don’t know anything about politics anyway. Just got involved because we got a “new” type of president sighs



5. Lil Wayne and his baby mommas – Black women like to have Baby Daddies. Black men love to get Black women pregnant out of wedlock. Get Over it!!!!



6. Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardasian – They got married cause the action was SOOO GOOD. It happens EVERY DAY. Hell, I know plenty of people who get married on short notice for dumb reasons. That is THEIR BUSINESS. Stop trying to analyze things that don’t make sense in the first place. And stop using them to represent how Black men are marrying non- black women. SO WHAT!!! I don’t want to marry ANY MAN that doesn’t want to marry me. No matter the creed, culture or clout. Stop getting your self esteem from men anyway.



7. Beyonce’s dad getting that younger actress woman pregnant while he is already married – see number 5.



8. Whitney Houston’s Comeback – What Comeback?!?!?!?



9. The movie PRECIOUS – Why we always wanna see some sad ghetto shyt. Why can’t black people make an Oscar worthy movie that doesn’t involve intraracial abuse. Why can’t we make something that makes you think deeper. I’m sorry but this movie was NOT ALL THAT. I will note that Mo’nique did play her role, but how difficult is it for a Black woman to “act” like she is angry at the world pause



10. Oprah and Tyra retiring – umm Tyra…could you BE anymore single white female :-/



11. Princess and the Frog Movie – Womp Womp. Why we had to wait for Walt Disney to make a Black princess. And why are we so darn excited about it * frowns



12. Balloon Boy – Now I don’t trust White People



13. Kanye West – Um…..it’s Kanye West, he’s is so great he can do what he wants…stop hating.



14. Twitter – Is the BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME AND EVERYONE ELSE….If you can’t get with it..you just aren’t intelligent LOL …



16. Marriage Crisis in the Black Community - see number 5 and number 7



15. ME – cause I’m just THAT GREAT.



Keep reading folks..and Please add..I’m sure I forgot somethings …I always do..probably because they weren’t important anyway

Love you all..HAPPY NEW YEAR

Single Dads....DON'T BE AFRAID TO LET HER TAKE YOU TO COURT

Hold on, let me explain....

I consider myself a good listener, and despite my *ahem* young age, I think I give sound advice. Most of the time it's common sense, but I can avow that that I am also a very logical person. I have listened to many a single dad complain about the drama with his "baby's mother".

Usually the situation is this: Man and woman have "jump off" relationship or Failed relationship. Long story short, pregnancy results, but there is no relationship left. For various reasons not limited to the woman wanting to maintain contact with dude....woman decides to go through with the pregnancy. For 9 months the woman is that dude does right by here when the baby is here and attempts a relationship or they try to maintain a relationship but it isn't working so they break up. Baby gets here and woman notices that dude isn't coming around to wanting to be with her. Woman starts dangling baby situation like a string over guys head to control guy. Some of these situations involve: woman not letting man see baby because x amount of dollars wasn't given, woman using baby to get man to come over at all times of the night and day, woman uses baby to keep man from moving on in any other relationship with other women and finally, WOMAN THREATENS MAN CONSTANTLY WITH TAKING THEM TO COURT IF NONE OF THEIR DEMANDS ARE MET.

Man starts sweating, he doesn't want to be seen as a deadbeat by the courts. He doesn't want the gubment all up in his business. He doesn't want "the man" going all up in his paycheck telling him how much money he should be dishing out to his kid. He doesn't want to see his baby muva balling out of control while he has to move back in with momma and catch the bus. So he reluctantly meets all the demands the mother sets forth. He drinks and or smokes more cause he is miserable due to the control baby mother has over him. He vents to any and everyone who will listen..including me.

So here comes the advice part..

GROW SOME BALLS.

If you are doing what you are supposed to, assuming you are...hopefully you kept track. Keeping track of how well you are taking care of your child and how often you get them will help you going forward if the courts need to get involved. If you don't know how to do that, don't fret, True is here to help you.

1. When giving the baby mother money for child care expenses, ALWAYS write a check. NEVER give her cash. If your bad credit butt don't have a bank account, please use money orders and make her sign some list or sheet created by you every time she receives funds. Yes she will call you petty, yes she will get mad and refuse at times..but you have GOT TO COVER YOUR BUTT. Just in case that time comes and she gets mad enough to get "even" and take  you to court. You have your records.

2. Offer to pay the expenses direct. Pay the childcare provider directly and ask for a receipt. That way, you know how much shyt really costs (cause trust me, you don't know how many woman LIE about how much child care is costing them) and you can personally know that your money is going to the right sources.

3. When purchasing items for the child, whether it's a necessity or gift, KEEP RECORD!! KEEP THE RECEIPT! That way, if she does take you to court, she can't claim "He never bought the child anything". (FYI, anything anyone lies about in court including how much child care expenses cost is perjury and either party can and will be penalized).

4.Keep a calender of dates and times you spend with the child. I know it may seem silly but in these intense baby momma drama filled situations it's necessary. 

All I'm saying is, if you have one of "those" types of baby mothers, make sure you cover all your tracks. IF you are a good man and you are taking care of yours..you will have nothing to worry about if takes you to court.

But guess what, GOING TO COURT ISN'T SO BAD!!!!

I know, I can hear you guys gasping and what not but hear me out.

I have seen and heard the stories, success stories, situations where the ish actually worked out in the guys favor. FOR REAL. Here is how.

1. You get set visitation - no more of her saying you can't see lil Ray Ray because you didn't give her 600 dollars this week. You will get your set time with your child. Just make sure you get him/her during that time. If she refuses to let you pick the child up, she can be arrested. SERIOUSLY..I HAVE SEEN IT.

2. You are not "overpaying" for the child's expenses - no more paying for everything. With a set dollar amount given per month, you no longer have to be annoyed by her requesting more money. Sure she may still attempt to get more dough from you, but you can either decide to give her more, offer to buy the extra, or simply say "umm...we already settled this" and keep it moving. Also, courts no longer only look out for the mom. If you go in there with all your proof that your are caring for your child and have all your back up, shyt will probably come out in your favor. They also take into account the mother's income as well and what she can provide and how much time each party spends with the child. So no, it probably won't be all woman sided.

3. If you ever questioned the paternity, here is your opportunity to finally find out if the kid is yours - I know, that part is touchy, but you wouldn't believe the stories I have heard. Women bitter cause the man don't want her, take him to court for child support and 4 year old Imani ends up not being his. I know your feelings will be hurt, but financially and to baby mom dukes, YOU ARE OFF THE HOOK. If former baby moms will still let you be a part of the child's life and you wish to do so...feel free. I think it is a noble thing.

So fellas that are in this situation, please PLEASE don't fret. Do what you need to do. Take my tips, don't let her get to you. Shoot, YOU may want to take HER to court get her off your back. Don't let control you with ANYTHING. I hate to see really good guys getting the shaft because the really found out what a psycho his baby mother turned out to be.

Please fellas and ladies in this situation, or who just wants to add your two cents, contribute to the discussion and tell me what you all think :)

*note, this blog applies to those in a certain baby momma drama situation, this does not apply to dudes who aint doing spit for their child, or to moms who just want their child to have the financial support they should have been given*

True

To answer your question.....

I started moderating my comments because I was getting spam comments (if you guys haven't already noticed).

Also, I have started getting hate comments. Personal attack comments that had little to do if at all with the subject posted.

I don't post as much cause I just went thru some ish and am slowly getting back into my routine. Plus one of my dearest pals hooked up my puta now so I can blog alot more often.

Thanks for listening to these brief messages, back to your regularly scheduled program :)

True

Why do some women "take care" of men

Hello Readers :)

When I made my "I'm Back" post, I asked readers what I should write about. One of those topics, submitted by truthinrumors was "Can you please also address women who pay for EVERYthing/ women who assume 90% of the financial responsibility in a relationship????"

I thought about the answer to this before posting and came up with several answers and reasons. I mean it's not really black and white. But the number one reason is CONTROL!!

Why does either sex want to "pay for everything" or doesn't have a huge problem doing it? Mostly its because it gives them control over the relationship. A feeling of superiority. A level of uneveness that leaves them with the majority of the control.

I know I know. Sometimes your man is "down on his luck". Sometimes he "got laid off and u have to support him for a while"

But when this is the case for  MOST of the relationship, and not for any direct reason, it's because you (man or woman) want to be in control.

I guess most of you want to know WHY?

There are various reasons why some people are obsessed with control. Could be something very traumatic that occured in their childhood, not limited to abuse, neglect, etc.

Needing to control everything in one's life shows there is fear. Fear of being hurt again, fear of being made a fool of, fear of not being perfect. It is definitely fear of something.

Image to this person also means a lot.

No, I'm not putting those who are obsessed with control down. Nor am I saying that those who have their "lives completely together" are control freaks. Those obsessed with control pretty much KNOW they are. They get anxiety if things don't go perfect. They seek out mates who have low self esteem, are needy or who can't function on their own.

For the women who pay for most of the expenses but turn around and complain about it, either they are plain dumb in love or are in denial about their need for control. I'm sure it's the latter.

Anyway truthinrumors don't worry yourself about your "friend" or whomever you know who pays for most of the expenses in their relationship. If they love that man so much to pay mostly ALL the expenses, then nothing you do will convince them not to support their man otherwise. If they are just a control freak, that is something only deep therapy can assist with. Controlling or taking care of all the finances is something small compared to other relationship problems.

Thanks for reading and please add your 2 cents and comment

True

Hominy - Wednesday - One of my new favorite DC Happy hours

I hadn't been out in a month but I kinda felt like going out. And who in the WORLD can beat $1 dollar drinks and 4 dollar appetizers. My cousin and I headed to Hominy on 11th and U after texting my girl what was the spot on Wednesday. ( I know, I am ashamed, I should know the spot right, again forgive my absence)

The ambiance of Hominy when you first enter is very mature and calming. The dark yet warm colors invite you to relax and settle in. The bar area is pretty spacious with tables and plenty of bar seating, even has a good bit of standing room. I arrived around 7 and had no problem finding a seat for my "professional" behind at the bar. The crowd was a mix of professionals of all ages, college students, and those who had time to get fresh cause they don't have a day job (lol)

Of course this was the "happy hour" time so the music selection was pretty much chillaxing, sexy neosoul. You know, music you can talk over. Of course it was so relaxing that a couple of attorneys took it upon themselves to talk loudly about their case loads and court trials and blah blah blah within earshot of anyone who could hear *sigh*......

The bartender (well the one that served us anyway) was friendly. But then again, he was male..so that means he doesn't have an attitude problem or a "I'm annoyed" demeanor (sorry, but this has been my experience with 95% of the female bartenders in DC)

Being my greedy self and deciding I would already give this spot a good review so far, I ordered the catfish fingers and some macaroni and cheese. The catfish fingers were devine. The mac and cheese was so so, not better than the mac and cheese at Park at 14th but it was very edible. :)

At around 8 pm, the music kicked up a little bit more along with the crowd. It became a more social event. Not overwhelming tho. I was still feeling it. 

One of the promoters came up and personally thanked us for attending  and also asked us how we liked it so far. We told him we loved it and we had planned on coming back. I can appreciate a promoter who doesn't want feel like patrons are "beneath him" and he shouldn't talk to the folks who make an event a success....so shout out to ya !!!

Sooooo if ya don't have anything to do on a Wednesday, and you are cheap or broke as hell like me, check out the Hominy on Wednesday for an inviting happy hour that will fill your belly and quench your thirst without draining your wallet ...and sanity

Thanks

True

I'm Back!!!!

Thanks to a great buddy of mine near and dear to my heart, my laptop is FIXED. I will be blogging and tweeting from home YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

I know yall missed me.

I haven't had much happen since I last blogged which wasn't that long ago, but now that I'm back probably on a daily basis, I will have a lot more to say

I will also be reading and adding my wonderful 2 cents to all of my favorite blogs now. Shout out to @OneChele  at Black n' Bougie @dcdatingdiva  at dcdatingadventures; thefreshxpress; blogxilla; undressingher; singleblackmaleofnova; fungkeblakchik; @ThePBG @durtymo; AwesomeLuvvie; DC Buppie; And many more..I haven't forgotten you guys..I just got lazy typing you all out

Anyhoo..I may make a post tonite..or tomorrow.

I am taking requests for topics
I can't remember who he was on twitter but he suggested the topic "why girls stay with "bad" guys (guys that don't treat them well)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Sincerely Yours

True